omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
