While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
