my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
