would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
