I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
