why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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