now i know why i became what i already was.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
