dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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