So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
