There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
