Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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