You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize