The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
