The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
