My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
