I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize