In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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