You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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