You smell like a Billy Joel song
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
