honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
