you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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