Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
