Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
