im gay
i know
yea but for you.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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