Nicole vs. Life
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
