My first STD was from a foam party
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
