I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
