There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize