Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
