ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
