Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize