he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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