ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we should paint friendship bongs
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
