Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize