is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I didn't notice because vodka
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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