we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize