I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
