I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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