Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
