i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Terrible idea I love it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
