Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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