Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize