dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
