She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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