so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
