ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize