Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
