Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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