I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Randomize