guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
