I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
