We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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