with your own penis?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
