I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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