Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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