Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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