Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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