we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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