Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
