why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
