All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize