another moral hangover. fuck.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
