so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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