If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
