they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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