Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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