White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
