Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
