Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
time to smoke my breakfast
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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