the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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