The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
