All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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