if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
