You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
