sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
