I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
