some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize